Mentoring
Today it seems that mentoring is en vogue, but the real question is what does it mean to mentor? On the surface it is a relatively simple concept… the mentor commits to taking an interest in a person. Traditional mentoring is typically a relationship between an elder and a younger person, but this is not always the case. In some instances the younger person may actually serve as the mentor, though this is a far rarer situation. The concept of mentoring is as old as recorded history; accounts of the relationship between Plato and Socrates reveal the nature of their association to have been one of student and teacher… Socrates was in fact Plato’s mentor.
Mentors usually serve as advisors, guides; individuals that strive to help their charge reach goals and realize potential. The relationship can be extraordinarily complex or relatively simple. The design of the relationship determined exclusively by the participants with each determining what the guidelines will be. Many organizations have mentoring programs or the basis for such relationships established as part of their method of operation. Agencies like the Boy Scouts of America, the Boys and Girls Club and others function largely as mentoring programs. Other such programs can be found in faith based organizations, school programs, athletic and recreational programs, etc.
Among many in today’s contemporary society mentoring has achieved a certain je ne sais quoi, whereby the idea has become popular… the thing to do. While any righteous desire to help others should be supported there is much to be considered when such an endeavor is undertaken. Nowhere is this truer than when engaging children and youth. Discussions with urban youth reveals a troubling reality, in numerous conversations kids from urban communities report similar disturbing experiences. Reportedly, adults routinely engage them; promise to stay engaged and then they fade away. The sad truth is that today many young people say they have no expectations of being mentored.
Mentoring youth in today’s complex world is no easy feat. When working in some communities one will discover that children and young people have no adults actively engaged in their lives. Some youth believe that ignorance and violence are normal parts of human behavior and interaction. In instances where children and youth hold such beliefs it can be incredibly difficult to engage them. The bright smiling face of an adorable child may cover ideas and beliefs that are troubling for an individual unfamiliar with the world that child comes from.
When one chooses to mentor a child or young adult from a community unlike their own it is incumbent upon that individual to gain some knowledge and insight into that community. It is naïve to assume that all values in all communities are the same, they are not. While we like to believe that concepts associated with basic humanity and decency are the root of all value systems we must acknowledge that in some communities ideas have been altered or mutated. One must realize that a child from a neighborhood immersed in a culture of ignorance and violence has learned to survive in that world. To assume that his or her value system is identical to that of someone that has grown up in a middle class community is foolhardy.
The purpose of this article is not to discourage those that wish to mentor young people from any community. Conversely it is intended to serve notice that undertaking such a noble endeavor requires more than just good intentions. Mentoring requires a firm commitment to helping, not only the person being mentored but a commitment to helping in general. When we engage others and endeavor to share the benefit of our own knowledge we undoubtedly help them learn. A by product of this sharing experience is usually learning something ourselves.
Much can be said for the idea of mentoring, as a collective community it is important for all of us to remember why we engage in such practices. Hopefully we don’t participate in programs because it’s currently the thing to do. If we engage a child we impact that child, potentially the child is impacted forever. If you do not have the time be honest with yourself, don’t make the commitment. If you do make the commitment remember that it’s not always easy. Most importantly remember, there is an opportunity to positively impact everyone by reaching out and helping someone.
Virgil (Al) Taylor
2009
